She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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