Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize