I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
