Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
not ubering you a puppy
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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