The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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