pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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