Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
