What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
