it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize