ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
