glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize