i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
