wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
