If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
