I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
