He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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