Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
