I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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