I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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