Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
