Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
