If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
