I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
