I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
