I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
