I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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