Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize