I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
