I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize