if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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