he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
