Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
