oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
