yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize