I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
