I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
vagina is talking i cant
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
