actually, I'm a sock model
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
