white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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