brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
