Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
