you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
