i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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