He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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