my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
love makes seman taste better
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
