k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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