oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
