So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
