Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
