i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
