Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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