We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
