Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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