You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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