Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
