This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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