I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
