somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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