oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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