She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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