Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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